The YouTube channel What’s Going On With Shipping? posts almost daily news and discussion about the shipping industry. Surprisingly for such a topic, the team has managed to amass over 700,000 subscribers. It has made maritime trade into the Internet’s second favorite type of shipping. While I am not entirely sure why there is so much interest beyond general geopolitical tension, I can say with relative certainty that real news involving container ships is much more worth your time than the latest Jason Statham action film set on one.
Statham plays Cole Reed, the most nondescript variant of the actor’s usual “man you really do not want to mess with” schtick. He is ex-police, ex-Navy, ex-peaceful harmony and now the beloved bodyguard of shipping magnate Tibu Campallo (Ramon Tikaram). On the eve of the company being sold off, Tibu is murdered with Cole framed for it. To clear his name and uncover why the hit was ordered, Reed must fight his way through a container ship of goons. The cast is rounded out with Annabelle Wallis as the ship’s third mate and only non-goon, Tony Award nominee Adrian Lester as a Navy captain, and the gruff Nordic heavy played by Roland Moller.
Just about every element of the promotional campaign for Mutiny would seem to indicate that it would be at best mildly enjoyable, but, believe it or not, there was reason to be optimistic. Director Jean-Francois Richet’s last effort Plane (2023) was one of that year’s biggest surprises. The Gerard Butler-Mike Colter action film was full of propulsive action and decent drama. A sequel succinctly titled Ship was swiftly put into development only to be cancelled right before filming began when Butler abruptly departed. Even more shockingly, Mutiny is not a rework of that film. But either way, perhaps lightning could strike again.
Mutiny is the worst kind of bad film, the type that you forget immediately rather than hate forever. At least some passion of the heart is involved in the latter. Statham has over two decades of action B-movie material, most of which is at least more entertaining than this. There is the really fun Transporter movie (and its okay sequels), Crank, Hobbs and Shaw, his Guy Ritchie collaborations, and so on. And of course, the crown jewel of them all Meg 2: The Trench where Statham walks on the bottom of the ocean, fights dinosaurs, and 1v1s a megalodon while riding a jet ski.
A couple scenes in Mutiny have within them a few brief moments that are enjoyable. It was fun when Reed fought a dude with a fire axe and a harpoon gun. The problem is less to do with explicit incompetence and more with a lack of care or flavor. Richet films the action fine enough. The cast read their lines without the stilted awkwardness that can sometimes appear in cheap genre pics. One exception is Wallis, who is so dull here that you might be tempted to think the failure of Tom Cruise’s The Mummy (2017) and so the Dark Universe was singlehandedly her fault. The saving grace of the film is the runtime, which is mercifully, if abruptly short.
Two scenarios exist where Mutiny is worth watching. First, you are on an airplane. You have already watched Top Gun: Maverick and The Sheep Detectives. It is time for you to drift off to sleep, but it is hard to do with the guy next to you snoring so loudly. Put this on. Second, you are at a family member’s house where there is television service but no wi-fi or cell service. Their cable package does not include Turner Classic Movies, but this is playing on TNT. Sure, why not.
Mutiny is now playing in theaters.
Thanks. I’ll give it a miss.
Casting directors keep doing Annabelle Wallis dirty. Don't think I'll watch this one but I still think it sucks that she's only reserved for action slop and mundane dramas no one will watch. I really liked her supporting performance in Tag (2018) and wish she did more movies like that...